How do you handle stress?
Many years ago I was sent by my employer on a stress management course. I didn't ask to attend so I guess my boss or my colleagues must have nominated me. This was curious… I didn’t feel as though I needed any training in techniques for handling stress.
Anyway, being the compliant type, I duly attended the seminar. I was taught how to breathe when I felt agitated. I was shown relaxation techniques. (These were more potent than my skeptical frame of mind allowed - as we practiced these techniques, a fellow attender dropped off to sleep and fell off his chair. It may have been the liberal quantity of alcohol that he'd consumed in the bar the night before. Perhaps it was caused by his lack of sleep the night before. Possibly, it was a vivid demonstration that relaxation techniques are really very powerful. You tell me.) I was encouraged to listen to relaxation tapes and sent home with complimentary cassette tapes (it was a long time ago) and asked to avoid playing them while driving the car. I was even given a sheet of "microdots". When stuck on the skin, microdots changed colour if you were stressed (and so presumably made you realise that you were indeed stressed).
In the aftermath of the course I'd like to say that I practiced all of the techniques and coping strategies that I had been introduced to. I'd like to say that… but it wouldn’t be true.
Perhaps it was enough to know that I could use a technique or listen to a tape if I really needed to. It is a well-attested fact that possessing some sense of control actually lessens the impact of stress. I struggled to practice the techniques despite the seminar dramatically raising my awareness of how stressed I actually was!
Many years have passed and now that we are in the YouTube age, great relaxation resources are freely available. Here's one I came across recently.
I love the humour in this and it awakens a few memories. Recollections of stress management courses and fond nostalgia for the Doctor Who adventures televised in my childhood and youth.
Of course a huge part of the fun is the incongruity of a dalek telling a human being to relax. I guess that this kind of contradiction is at the root of a lot of humour.
But it gets me thinking… In my role as a grandparent and parent, am I urging behaviour and attitudes on others that I don't freely exhibit in my own life? As a church leader, am I encouraging others to do as I say, rather than do as I do? Am I inviting people to find a rest and peace in God that is patently not present in my own life?
The dalek says the "right" things, but when said in a dalek voice, life-giving words take on rather different meanings. I know I should align my way of life and my day-to-day experience with the words that I say and the lessons that I teach.
Ordinary people instantly warmed to Jesus because his words, his character and his humanity all lined up. When he spoke, he spoke with authority. This was in contrast to other religious leaders who perpetually shuffled and regurgitated the opinions of others and who lacked compassion for those struggling to keep unbending religious dictates.
By way of an example, let's take something Jesus said.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Matthew 11: 28,29
Since these words are uttered by Jesus himself, I must pay them serious attention. Since the Gospels paint a picture of a Jesus who exhibits an underlying sense of peace and purpose despite often being in the eye of the storm, I should take his words as credible.
Since Jesus always comes to his followers in every age and keeps their hearts and minds in his peace, his words are life-giving and life-transforming. If Jesus made a relaxation tape, he might speak these words over a celestial soundtrack. What would actually matter most is that he speaks his words to disciples who want to learn from him…
Are you doing what the dalek says? Or are you doing what Jesus says?